I have been asked many strange and wonderful questions in my life. I am always surprised and energised when I am asked a question about myself that I either do not understand or can not answer. “Do you have sober sex?” This was one of those questions. When the question was flung at me across a coffee table in a house I had never … Continue reading Do you have Sober-Sex?
I’m sitting, my back to the wall, the lecturer to my right has been talking for 45 mins, only 45 mins and I’m (here writing this) bored already. Her voice makes my skull ache. It is as if her tone is able to chew at the skin between face-flesh and skull-bone, it is really quite magically disturbing. Directly in front of me is The Big … Continue reading Tuesday mornings
I have grown up learning how to juggle three elements of who I am. I do not juggle these elements willingly. I juggle them because I am conditioned to do so and therefore have become, in many situations, a pro. Every now and again a situation presents itself and I recognise that I have to rely on parts of my skill that come with a … Continue reading Power. Language. Gender
I had many white friends at one point. Actually, for most of my young life, I only had 3 or 4 friends that were of colour because of the school I went to. As an adult, I am now trying to create a place of community, acceptance and belonging. This requires me to slowly but purposefully diversifying my friend groups. I have this white friend, … Continue reading I have this white friend.
My father is man with a tough skin and a broken heart.He comes from an era in which men were mountains and mountains never cracked, crumbled or shivered. He has always been a mountain to me, well until I grew up. As I grew, he began to shrink. As an adult, I now recognise that he is just a man, just a mortal. My father inadvertently, and … Continue reading DAD. Father.
I can only ever tell my own stories and speak from a place of my truth. I have been drowning in societal expectations. Realy drowning though. Drowning in inner discomfort and feelings of deep set fear, anxiety and helplessness. I realised halfway through last year where all of these feelings came from. I have never been one to fit, but then again who is? Who … Continue reading Exposure
Thola, what does kissing feel like? Do you wear pyjamas when you go to bed? Why do you and your boyfriend share a bed? Thola, why don’t you wear a bra? Thola, do you also wear g-strings like my mom? Why do your pants go so tight over your bum? Thola do you know Daniel Radcliffe? What do you mean Daniel Radcliff gets naked with … Continue reading Questions THEY ask