I have been spending a lot of time with my mother. I have always enjoyed time with her, but lately, it feels as if our relationship is slowly removing its old skin in order to show the new, stronger, more beautiful, tougher, less chipped and element-damaged truth. We speak about anything and everything. I have learnt that when my mother is quiet she is either … Continue reading Whiteness and My White Mother.
There are moments in life that catch you off guard in such a way that you do not know how to illustrate the emotion that comes up in response. Moments such as standing in a public toilet with a 4-year old, wiping her bum while she rests her hands on your feet and shouts at you for having ugly toes but compliments your shoes. Moments such … Continue reading An Honour
I have spent a large part of my 5-year relationship asking myself if this is what I want? For a long time, I believed that the relationship that I had was exactly the way that I wanted it to be. I was happy because people perceived me and my partner as happy and ‘normal’. Even though my partner and I told each other that our … Continue reading Do I Love?
People keep asking me if I am ok. Asking me what I am feeling and if I need anything. I feel as if I have said ” I feel so tired” more in the past 4 days than I have ever said in my life. I was fine for 2 days. My mind carried on as usual, slow, steady and contemplative. Now I feel it, … Continue reading The Other Side
I don’t remember the moment that I learned that I was a girl. I don’t remember being told by my parents that I was to wear pink and be pretty. I don’t remember feeling sad or glad when I learned that I was different to the boys or that the boys were different to me. I don’t remember these moments because they never took place. … Continue reading HETERONORMATIVITY
On my first trip to the UK in 2014, I was invited to speak at a women’s organisation. I was invited to be a guest speaker. I had never done anything like that before. I was told that my talk would be like a window for the women to look through in order to learn about my world, my experiences and the visions that I … Continue reading A Fear of Sharing
I have been asked many strange and wonderful questions in my life. I am always surprised and energised when I am asked a question about myself that I either do not understand or can not answer. “Do you have sober sex?” This was one of those questions. When the question was flung at me across a coffee table in a house I had never … Continue reading Do you have Sober-Sex?