I saw myself walking down 100 stairs, naked. A warm wind blew and my cloak billowed out behind me as far as the steps rose up. From my black hair flew multi-coloured butterflies. I was moving forward, unafraid and exposed. This vision, among many other happenings in the last few months have been the part of my journey to emancipation, self-learning and true self-love. I … Continue reading Practicing Freedom.
It has taken me a long time to learn how to fully exist in this world. I am still learning every day, slowly but with purpose and intention. I am of the belief that I, as Thola Antamu, will only ever be conscious of this life and of this being that I am practising in this life, so why not live it to the best … Continue reading There are NO limitations.
I have been spending a lot of time with my mother. I have always enjoyed time with her, but lately, it feels as if our relationship is slowly removing its old skin in order to show the new, stronger, more beautiful, tougher, less chipped and element-damaged truth. We speak about anything and everything. I have learnt that when my mother is quiet she is either … Continue reading Whiteness and My White Mother.
There are moments in life that catch you off guard in such a way that you do not know how to illustrate the emotion that comes up in response. Moments such as standing in a public toilet with a 4-year old, wiping her bum while she rests her hands on your feet and shouts at you for having ugly toes but compliments your shoes. Moments such … Continue reading An Honour
I have spent a large part of my 5-year relationship asking myself if this is what I want? For a long time, I believed that the relationship that I had was exactly the way that I wanted it to be. I was happy because people perceived me and my partner as happy and ‘normal’. Even though my partner and I told each other that our … Continue reading Do I Love?
People keep asking me if I am ok. Asking me what I am feeling and if I need anything. I feel as if I have said ” I feel so tired” more in the past 4 days than I have ever said in my life. I was fine for 2 days. My mind carried on as usual, slow, steady and contemplative. Now I feel it, … Continue reading The Other Side
I don’t remember the moment that I learned that I was a girl. I don’t remember being told by my parents that I was to wear pink and be pretty. I don’t remember feeling sad or glad when I learned that I was different to the boys or that the boys were different to me. I don’t remember these moments because they never took place. … Continue reading HETERONORMATIVITY