Love. Love is something that I have learned. I do not believe that I was born able to love. I do not believe that anyone is born able to do anything actually, we learn and acquire and copy. Everything that we are and become, is recycled from everything that was before us, that came with us and comes after us. Love is learning. In my … Continue reading Love and Learning
I tried to work out how many pap smears I probably should have had in my life already. The equation should include one a year since the beginning of my period and then one every 6 months since I began being sexually active. If my memory serves me correctly, which it might not, because some traumas are easily forgotten, then I think I have had … Continue reading Smearing the pap.
5 years ago, almost to the day, a very tall white man, with a thick mop of dark brown hair, big dark eyes, and a strong jawline walked past me in a bar as I made my way to the bathroom. We met eyes for a moment, but I didn’t think twice about it. I was at the bar attempting to get back with my … Continue reading True Communication
I saw myself walking down 100 stairs, naked. A warm wind blew and my cloak billowed out behind me as far as the steps rose up. From my black hair flew multi-coloured butterflies. I was moving forward, unafraid and exposed. This vision, among many other happenings in the last few months have been the part of my journey to emancipation, self-learning and true self-love. I … Continue reading Practicing Freedom.
It has taken me a long time to learn how to fully exist in this world. I am still learning every day, slowly but with purpose and intention. I am of the belief that I, as Thola Antamu, will only ever be conscious of this life and of this being that I am practising in this life, so why not live it to the best … Continue reading There are NO limitations.
I have been spending a lot of time with my mother. I have always enjoyed time with her, but lately, it feels as if our relationship is slowly removing its old skin in order to show the new, stronger, more beautiful, tougher, less chipped and element-damaged truth. We speak about anything and everything. I have learnt that when my mother is quiet she is either … Continue reading Whiteness and My White Mother.
There are moments in life that catch you off guard in such a way that you do not know how to illustrate the emotion that comes up in response. Moments such as standing in a public toilet with a 4-year old, wiping her bum while she rests her hands on your feet and shouts at you for having ugly toes but compliments your shoes. Moments such … Continue reading An Honour