On Saturday I found myself home alone, bleeding from my vagina and without transport or money to make myself feel better. The first day of my period is always really bad, so I self medicate. My gynecologist advises that I use cannabis oil – that shit is not cheap. So instead I call a guy who sells nice things and I just inhale and exhale … Continue reading When madness takes over.
I sat on a warm iron chair, designed for humans with smaller frames than mine. The horizontal strips of metal pressed into my dripping legs as gravity called the swimming pool water and it fell to meet the ground below me. I was watching her in the water. It was warm and she was happy. The image of her reminded me of my mother – … Continue reading Water
At some point, I was floating on a giant pizza slice in the middle of a huge, placid, brown body of water. In my hand was a plastic bottle filled with Savanna cider. It was a Sunday afternoon, my mind was spent, my heart was full and my body was tired. There was a light wind blowing and I could feel myself floating downstream. I … Continue reading Pizza and Savanna
A car pulled up. We stood, and moved to the door. It stopped in the shade, the front doors opened and two women climbed out. I was nervous but felt like I knew what was happening. For a split second, I missed my sister but reminded myself that I was surrounded by family. I looked up into his face and wondered if he wanted someone … Continue reading Buhle and her moms.
As a black South African, I have spent so much time observing myself, my blackness, my consciousness and what I believe I want my world to be shaped by. I do not think that this is unique to me. I feel that this is something quite common to the Black South African person. It might sound like a lot, but in truth, the ability to … Continue reading Dear White people raising white children.
I have never taken myself on holiday in a way that people imagine when one says, “I’m taking time for a holiday.” My holidays are normal work days interspersed with me telling myself that it is ok to take time off to paint my nails, do my hair or simply sit down at 12 mid-day have a glass of wine and watch Netflix until bedtime … Continue reading Happy Endings.
Home Affairs is always hot. Every time, every office, hot and aomehow causing a feeling of claustrophobic anxiety. I avaoid Home Affairs as much as I am able. I changed my name. I decided to shorten it, make it a shorter more explosive version of the long undulating tale that is my name. Two words rather than six. 15 letters rather than 40. I changed … Continue reading The Power of a Name